Gouge my eyes out!

The last four days have been less than thrilling.

It's either due to some illness, emerging teeth or crabby stomach, but my son Noah has been off the charts fussy.
I can not even leave the room he is in or waaaah
Look at him, waaaaahhhhh
Offer him food, waaahhhh
Drink, waaaaaaaahhhh
If Ali even touches him, waaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

The only time he is happy is when we are out doing things.
Which, is what we do.
When we are home, I can not sit down, or its "milk, milk, milk"
Not only have I completely lost the sacred-cy of breastfeeding
I kinda dread it.
It's fine when you have a sleepy newborn, or a bubbly infant,
but when you have a scratching, hitting, wriggling, kicking, biting toddler it's a whole other story.
I just take a deep breath and hold it until it's over.

Especially night time.
Which brings me to my misery.

My husband and I, fed up with the sleepless nights, decided we were going to DO THIS!! No more night nursing.....High five!

Let's just say breastmilk was crack.
Noah would be an open sore-d,  hopeless crack head, that even an episode of INTERVENTION couldn't cure..

That kid is NOT willing to give it up, he cried, and cried, and cried and cried....etc.


He refuses a sippy cup.
He HATES a bottle.
He HATES pacifiers.

I'm lost.
I have no idea what to do.
So we were up since 2:30 a.m., dazed, defeated and exhausted.............high five.

And on top of that, Sarah is having issues with her urinary tract. So, I had to take her to the doctors the next day.
BY MY SELF.
My husband has been with me for every doctors appointment since we had Noah. But, I felt today it was going to be fine. The kids are good. I can DO THIS!

Why didn't someone just shake me.

We got there 20 minutes early, the lady seem confused when I told her our appointment time, making me think, GREAT, our appointment (that I made that morning) didn't get scheduled.

Kids were good at this point, Noah kept wandering off, but Sarah was being good.

20 minutes past our appointment time, we get called.
Kids were still being good.

Then we wait in the room.
That damn room

After about 30 minutes waiting, Noah starts rolling around on the FLOOR refusing to be picked up. He is OBVIOUSLY bored with the cubicle of a room. He then starts slamming the door to the garbage under the sink, "bam bam BAM BAM BAM BAM" over and over and refused to stop.
Sarah was being good, but needed to pee. GREAT! Noah was not having it, so I carried a wriggly baby to the bathroom, set him down and he starts playing with the PLUNGER and once I take it away, he rolls all over the floor! ughh
After, the doctor FINALLY come is......the student doctor..........at this point, Sarah is anxious. Noah is bored and starts wanting "MILK MILK MILK" oh god..once he get's that in his mind, there is NO distracting him at that point...it's crack I tell ya..........so he starts shoving his hands down my shirt, crying hysterically snot bubbles everywhere..... and the doctor is asking me a million questions I have to scream to answer.....he tries to examine Sarah, so I had to put Noah down, mid-crisis, to help Sarah not freak out when they look in her ears.......Noah is throwing himself on the floor crying.......then the student doctor leaves to get the REAL doctor....great!!!!
We wait, at this point, SARAH starts crying, non stop, saying she doesn't want to be at the doctors anymore!!!! She is throwing herself on the examination table sobbing....Noah is, of course nursing, underneath Sarah's teeny sweater that barely covers anything..so I am helpless in consoling Sarah........Noah barely nursed, then proceeds to play with the computer wiring underneath the table.....frantically I found some NERD candies in my purse...HALLELUJAH!!!! That kept them busy for 2 minutes...finally the other doctor came....Noah is now on the floor rubbing himself all over the dirt and contagious diseases, he climbs on a stool and just stands atop it like a mountain lion...the doctor was like "oh no buddy you might fall"...then he moves on and starts playing with the metal stirups BAM BAM.....the student doctor was like "oh no buddy, that might hit your head".......I'm staring at him like, just LET him play with the DAMN stirup!!!!! During Noah's extreme naughtiness, Sarah is crying hysterically because she is tired, in pain and doesn't want them looking at her "veggies".....
Then they told us she needed to pee in a cup.
I almost cried. Really.
She just went pee. It was already so late....
I wanted to roll on the floor and cry along with Noah.

After all of that, and we were finally done,
I just sat there, staring at the wall. Sarah and Noah both wailing.

It was probably one of the top ten worst days of motherhood.

I barely survived.

We were there for 2 horrendous hours.
My  husband and I had plan to go see a movie, but I made it home at 4:10 p.m. exactly when the movie started. We didn't go.
So, it was kinda a frustrating day to say the least.........
UGH!!

video

But the day before I got this funny video of Noah, this is kinda what he was doing all over the floor of the office....









Snow Day Pics

Here is some pics from our Snow day...bath time, dress up and snack time.














Oh ya!

Again, we were swimming.
This time, Sarah made a friend who actually played with her.

Sarah is a little pushy.
Usually her new "friends" swim away because Sarah is SCREAMING, "WHAT IS YOUR NAME!!!!!!?"
She gets right up in your face too.
It's not her fault, it's what we do to her.

But this girl was giving Sarah swim rings to throw so she could dive with them, throwing a huge ball back and forth, they swapped names...it was so cute!

But then, the girl started getting too personal, splashing into Sarah's face and chasing her.
Sarah actually looked distressed.

 We locked eyes.

She yelled "Mommy!"
Swam over to me, grabbed onto my shoulders and we swam away together....a little mermaid on my back. And I her dolphin.

It felt good to be her knight and shinning armor.

Oh ya.



Valentines Day

Today is the First United Methodist Preschool, a.k.a. Sarah's Preschool, annual............wait for it.............

......its coming...............


Valentines Day party!!!

WOOOP!
A little woop actually,
because we spent most of the night making cookies for the class, destroying our clean kitchen in the process.

BUT, they came out cute I guess. Just plain ol' sugar cookies with pink frosting.

It was actually quite difficult to figure out what to bring for valentines day cards for all the kids. I just can't let an opportunity like Valentines Day pass. I need to CRAFT!! But since we are not allowed to bring in chocolate due to allergies, I needed to figure out what else can go along with her cards.

Bubbles.

Kids love bubbles.
I am slighlty worried about the kids spilling the bubble solution on the laminated floor and slipping and breaking some part of their little skeletal system.
Just breathe.
Don't start over analyzing.

Well, I figure the bubbles were a safer option than Valentines "finger puppet"  breast cards.


HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!







There it was.

As I was driving down the highway, I noticed car after car with licenses plates from all over, Georgia, Florida, New Jersey....wow......... then.... there it was..................




It hurt.
Sarah doesn't even know what or where that is.
All she has known is New York.
California was my home. Where I grew up.Where my other half of my family is.
She doesn't understand she has a whole side of her family across America.

Or what consecutive sunshine is.
Or what our old pizzeria pizza tasted like.
Or Sushi Mambo and Marine World.
I realized I still hold on to California, like one day I am just going to wake up and look out my window and see the sun shining again and the sounds of hot air balloons.

It's hard to let go.
I really miss being there.

"Home is where you make it," said Erin (my b.f.f.).
It's true. 
My home is here now.
I have to let go.
Or wake up.

It's these winter days that kill me.

I have to embrace the snow I guess, rub it down.
Be ONE with it.
Its the only way I am going to survive.

Maybe I'll go tubbing.










I failed

Last Friday, the preschool "sign-out" clipboard circled around to me.
Miss Amy, Sarah's preschool teacher, said, "Pajama day is Monday."
I looked down at the clipboard, as I scribbled my signature I noticed a sticky note stating the same thing.
I thought to myself, "I should really write this down."

Once I got Sarah into the car, she excitedly told me they were going to wear pajamas at school.
WHAT?!!
She is showing excitement about a school activity!
"Yes, Miss Amy told me you were going to have a pajama day," I said.
Maybe I will facebook Zeus's mom for the date, when I get home.

I forgot.

That Friday had been chaos.
I was running late, I scrambled to find her snow pants and gloves with no success.
The kids had been playing inside the past week due to frigid weather, so I was hoping that today was the same, it was cold.
Nope.
They went outside that day. She had no gloves.
Fortunately the teacher had extra snow pants. She was whining about her freezing hands, they were ice cold. My heart sunk, deep.
She had been playing in the snow with bare hands. UGH!

So, Monday comes, a new day. I have her snow pants ready, her under sweater, an EXTRA sweater, gloves, hat, big jacket.
I was ready.
We even got ready 20 minutes early, so I did something fun with her hair. She had her cute B.F.F. shirt and dark wash skinny jeans on...She was stylin'.
I thought "man, I really need to get the date of Pajama day, so I don't forget."

Too late.

Ali said that she looked around and saw all the other bobbling kids in their Transformer and Tinkerbell P.J.'s and said "OH NO, daddy we forgot our P.J.'s!!"
He told me this 10 minutes after we dropped her off.

10 minutes too late.
I couldn't bring her P.J.'s now, they were doing circle time.

I called my mom distraught. She told me "I am SURE other parents forgot".....
I took comfort in knowing I wasn't the only one.

NOPE.
I was the only one.

It was then I cried.

And they didn't even go outside.



I thought it was funny that I was crying and she was not.
Luckily she didn't seem upset, so it made it easier.
I dwelled on it, of course.
 Mother of the Year over here.

Well, Kindergarten registration is today.
It will be a start to better organization.