Be all that you can be.

My husband.
He is my inspiration.
He doesn't even bat an eye to criticism.
He has helped me in so many ways, in not feeling like I have to defend myself.
And stop worrying about what others do either.
And try to just be honest.
Worry about us. Let go of everything else.

I am feeling pressure.
The pressure to go to work.


For me, working at the salon was a mental and physical break.
When I worked, it was great. Not gonna lie.
Even those long busy days were nothing compared to a long day with the kids.
It was calm and quiet, I got to socialize with adults, EAT,  take a break, be creative and MAKE MONEY!
My drive to make money is really strong.
Some mom's can balance this. 

I am scared I will get wrapped up in it.
I didn't want to lose focus of what was really important to me.
Raising my kids.
Once I get on that money horse I will gallop off, full speed and it scares me.
I resist the urge to ask my old boss for my job back, everyday.


So, I've  learned to bottle this drive to make money, into being a mom.
That is my full time job. I am working hard long days with PLENTY of overtime, to be the best mom and role model I can be.
Just without a pay check to show for it.

It's so hard when you are battling these thoughts already, then lose support. Making money IS important.
Sometimes I am guided away from what I am fighting to achieve.
It's hard not to get upset or defensive.

I know I will get on that horse.
I guess someday I will have to give in.