Curve of Learning

This last weeks has been an..........um...emotional ride.

My parents and I have always butted heads. Only when I was a little 'bowl' haircutted little "boy,"  did my parents and I get along. Especially my mother and I.

We always bicker.

It's the, trying to be nice while I point out all your flaws bicker.

After a few awkward days of this, I decided to sit my family down and have a "talk." Let's get whatever it is out. No more faking.

You can only move forward after that right?! Honesty is the best medicine and if you don't open that pill bottle you will never get relief.

The bottle opened.

The medicine spilled all over the floor and nobody was willing to pick it up.

Eventually my darling husband took over.

My husband.

A man of words and a pure heart, a guider.

Exactly what we needed. Guidance.

These past days I have learned so much. Life is a constant learning experience.

My husband reminded us, it's how we 'react' to things that determine who we are. Someone may throw a ball at you, but its your choice to either, throw the ball back and hit them in the head with it, or catch the ball and put it down.

You can only control yourself, not other. If that person chooses to hit you in the head, it's how you react to it, that determines who you are.

I don't want to hit anyone. Especially my mom.

Working on yourself is hard, I think that is why you need someone to help you point out the areas you may struggle with. You can't tell yourself that you are being a jerk, when YOU are determining that. You aren't going to tell yourself you are wrong. Everyone thinks they are right.
Their is no progress.
That's why we fight, because we think we are right and the other person is wrong.

My problem is getting people to understand why I do things. Justify why I do things, but why do I care? I can't pry myself into their brains and change the way that they think, or want to. I think in our case we struggle to find a common ground. Accept each other. Nobody is perfect.

My parents and I are complete opposites. Are we?
It's amazing how much it may seem like we are different, but when stripped to the basics, we are the same.
It's those little layers that get in the way of our true core beliefs.

My mother is always wanting peace and happiness, she struggle and strives to make this happen.
I admire her for that.
In turn, she wants to be happy too.

I believe that happiness comes from the inside. You don't have to rely on others to make you happy. If you  did, you never would be. My husband says it's like a pebble hitting the water. You drop a pebble in the water and ripples will flow all around it. If you are happy, truly happy, the effects will seep out onto others.
Maybe it will and maybe it won't.

All you can control is yourself.
For me, happiness is God.

Love is God flowing through you to others, you are just a vessel.

Even if you do not believe in a certain religion you still have love. I believe God/Love is in all of us, no matter what your religion, background, gender, sexual preference, race or disability.  You can have love even if you are not religious.

So the core of us all is love.

I love my family.

I feel like a damn hippy.

PEACE.                                       

It's an impossible goal to expect all the time.

PEACE.

Peace within myself, that is my goal, my struggle.