Rejected

"Can't sit here."
Those dreadful words replaying over and over in my head.
Those heart wrenching scenes in Forest Gump, after he was sent off by his over-protective mother on his first school bus ride, only to be rejected by every kid on the school bus.
"Can't sit he-yah"
Thank god for Jenny.

Sarah had a Forest moment.

She has been having so much fun swimming. Most days she find a buddy to play with.
Usually boys, but we won't go there.

It's enlightening to see how much she is becoming independent in her play, she is very interactive, cheerful and always introduces herself to ANYONE who will listen.
She sees two twin girls, about the age of 7, laughing, playing and jumping.
She swam over giggling all the way, excited to have some friends. I hear some giggles and thought it was the sound of them playing together but I noticed that the girl was watching her twin sister, not Sarah, who at this point was in her face, a little bit intrusive.
She introduces herself.
"What is your name, I'm Sarah Vargonen?"
The girl didn't even notice her.
Sarah was staring at her, she repeated, only louder this time.
"What is your name?"
Louder, "What is your name?"
"My name is Sarah Aaliyah Vargonen"
The girl wasn't even fazed.

At this point, I am watching, crushed.
My heart is racing, I'm thinking, "please, acknowledge her, just say your name."
I was so excited to see my reserved Sarah blossoming into a social 4 year old, trying to make friends.

No answer, not even eye contact.

Sarah swam away, still giggling, remaining optimistic.
The girls remained laughing and pretending. They were very much in their own pretend fantasy/mermaid land. Sarah then says,
"Watch this, I can do a rocket, hey guys, look I can do a rocket ship!"
At this point, they swam off....
She looked at me.
I looked at her and said
"WOW, cooooool"

She was rejected.

How could anyone reject my bobbly bubble of love.
MY, is the key word, here. My love.

I am not ready for this.
Kindergarten is this year.
I can't stand the thought of someone being mean to her.
They weren't even being mean.
Just playing, without her. Not including her.

At least I know she will always have us cheering her on in the sidelines.

I take comfort in knowing, we will be her friend and accept her for who she is, no matter what it is.

Nostalgia is seeping through my veins today.

Ugh, this growing up thing sucks.