Birth

When someone you know has a new baby, you immediately think about your own experience.
It's a life changing moment.
For us, we had two completely different birthing experiences.
We were determined to make it that way. Birth is hard.
But apparently not for some.

I stumbled across a video on Youtube and watched a family go through labor in the most calm way. Not from hypnobirthing or deep breathing. But from an epidural.

I don't really know if I was jealous, or not?
We had an epidural with Sarah.
They turn the medicine off when you are ready to push though, so the effects of it wore off and the pain was full blown. I was nauseous, tired and pushed for 4 long agonizing hours.
It was overwhelmingly traumatic.

When the epidural was on, it was fabulous.
But for fear of having another experience like the one with Sarah, and not being able to move.
We decided to go through Noah's birth  in pain natural.

Why?
Experiencing both experiences, I don't really know. If my birth had been as calm as the video above, we may have not decided on a natural birth with Noah. The baby seemed to come out fine. She didn't have to push for 4 hours?

I was passionate about not having pitocin, because it usually leads to problems. I was WAY against that. But, epidurals, I don't really know.
When I was at my "rock and a hard spot" with Noah, I would have jabbed the needle in my own spine if someone had handed it to me. I was pleading for some relief. A tylenol!? Morphine....Ali, just punch me and knock me out!
Do I feel special because I didn't get one.
No.

I do feel like I accomplished something I set my mind to. I am proud of myself.
But Noah's birth was harder than Sarah's, for me at least.
For Ali, he was having a grand ol' time.
It was short, I was quiet, the pushing was quick and he was out in 5 hours. Less than a work day for him.

For me, it was another story.

I can say, I was glad to feel my legs.
I was also glad to feel some control over my body.
I also wanted to experience that "needing to push" feeling I never did with Sarah...it was mostly nausea and pain.
For Noah, the 'trauma' was not there, but the pain WAS worse.
Extreme, with a capital ME.

So, seeing this video, I have mixed emotions.
I didn't know it could be so calm for some.
Even when she was pushing, she looked great, talking and laughing....ha ha.

I felt kinda like dying Darth Vadar when Luke took his mask off, it's like, "whoah, maybe we should just keep that mask on!."
I had triple chins, sweaty and screaming...... "ali, your a faaaathaa"


I am just glad to see it can be pleasant for some.